The 50 Greatest Lies of the New Millennium

"I promise that I wont..."

There have been many lists of lies that have been circulated around for years. People used to receive shorter versions on their fax machines, then with the advent of computers in the late 1900s, the lists began to grow. But now were in the new millennium, so perhaps it's time once again to update that list. Here is our humble offering of the 50 Greatest Lies of the New Millennium...

1. The check's in the mail.
2. Trust me.
3. I didn't mean any harm.
4. I'll only take a minute of your time.
5. I'll call you right back.
6. If you elect me, I promise...
7. This isn't partisan politics; it's for the good of the country.
8. A representative of the government says...
9. These measures will ensure the safety of the American people while preserving essential liberties.
10. I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
11. I've never felt like this before.
12. This time it's different.
13. I'm planning to get a divorce so I can marry you.
14. I'll never let you down.
15. My wife (husband) is okay with me seeing other people; she (he) just doesn't want to know about it.
16. I'm not leaving you for her (him); I just need some space to think things through.
17. You don't need to use a condom; I'm on the pill.
18. I don't need to use a condom; I've had a vasectomy and tested negative for STD's.
19. Don't worry, I'll pull out in time.
20. I promise, I won't come in your mouth.
21. That was special.
22. I'll call you.
23. I promise I'll pay you back next Friday.
24. I'll never get this drunk (stoned, wrecked, etc.) again.
25. I'm not addicted; I can quit smoking (drinking, name the habit) any time I want.
26. You look like you haven't aged a single day!
27. No, I don't think that outfit makes you look fat.
28. You're going to love working here.
29. I have no clue what you're talking about!
30. It's 100% compatible with all of your existing equipment.
31. I've gone and checked this email out on Google, and it's really not a hoax.
32. We found and fixed the very last bug!
33. You can get rich on the Internet!
34. No obligation!
35. You may already be a winner!
36. Lose all the weight you want!
37. I'm being totally unbiased.
38. This will only hurt a little.
39. This will hurt me more than it does you.
40. I'm doing this for your own good.
41. It's only for a little while...
42. It was an accident.
43. Please hold, and a customer service representative will be with you shortly.
44. We are experiencing a peak level of call volume...
45. Our cell phones will give you much more freedom...
46. This product was made in an environmentally friendly manner.
47. I know it's none of my business...
48. I'm not trying to tell you what to do, but...
49. We'll have all the repairs finished by noon.
50. It will only take four more hours...

Some of your favorites may have been overlooked. If that's so just leave a comment and share your thoughts here.

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