Why I want to visit SJSU's English Department

I want to visit the Department of English & Comparative Literature at San Jose State University for the sole purpose of meeting Scott Rice, Ph.D. in person. Dr. Rice is obviously held in high esteem on the academic front, since he’s the Department Chair. His research interests cover the range of satire, grammar, British & European novels and commercialism in education.

Even more important, Scott Rice is the originator of the the world-famous Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, an annual competition for would-be writers that challenges them to compose the opening sentence to the worst of all possible novels.

The contest is named after a minor Victorian novelist, Edward George Bulwer-Lytton, whose novel Paul Clifford began with the (now-infamous) sentence:

"It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents--except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness."
~ Edward George Bulwer-Lytton, Paul Clifford (1830)

Inspirational words, aren't they!

In any case, you can find a whole lyttony (Scott Rice's pun, not mine) of the gems that were presented for consideration this year at the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest site, including the prose of Jim Guigli, this year's winner. Don’t miss the wonderful listings and examples from past winners and runner-up entries. They’re well worth the trip.

Just reading them serves as inspiration for me to try my hand in 2007. Then maybe I’ll get to make my trip to SJSU, and shake the hand of the man who made this all possible.

See my progress at: Department of English & Comparative Literature on 43places.com.

Bulwer-Lytton
Jim Guigli
google
lexidiem
lyttony

2006 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest Winner

The winner of the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest for 2006 has been announced.

Jim Guigli of Carmichael, California, submitted 64 entries into this year's annual contest, which is sponsored by the English Department at San Jose State University. Mr. Guigli is a retired mechanical designer who impressed the judges with his "appalling powers of invention," according to Scott Rice, a professor in SJSU's Department of English and Comparative Literature.

Here's a sample of the entry which gave him top honors in this years contest:

"Detective Bart Lasiter was in his office studying the light from his one small window falling on his super burrito when the door swung open to reveal a woman whose body said you've had your last burrito for a while, whose face said angels did exist, and whose eyes said she could make you dig your own grave and lick the shovel clean."

Guigli is said to have commented that he had aspired to write detective novels at one time but, "I never got a good start on it."

Professor Scott Rice has organized the bad writing contest since its inception in 1982. Since then, it has drawn thousands of entries each year, and the judging has been covered quite extensively by the press.

Guigli will receive the traditional "pittance" (said to be $250.00) as a reward for his winning entry. Guess that now raises him from the ranks of an amateur to a professional writers.

The annual contest is named for Edward George Bulwer-Lytton, whose 1830 novel "Paul Clifford" began with the frequently-mocked beginning, "It was a dark and stormy night."

It should also be noted that in his day, Bulwer-Lytton was possibly more popular than Charles Dickens, who was a contemporary. The line was also made popular by Snoopy's typewriter excursions in the Peanuts comic strip by the late Charles M. Schulz.

There's an extraordinary Lyttony of Grand Prize Winners which lists all of the winners since 1983, and some of these entries are truly extraordinary, including this jewel from 1992 by Laurel Fortuner:

"As the newest Lady Turnpot descended into the kitchen wrapped only in her celery-green dressing gown, her creamy bosom rising and falling like a temperamental souffle, her tart mouth pursed in distaste, the sous-chef whispered to the scullery boy, 'I don't know what to make of her.'"

Note to Professor Rice: though the verb "google" is now recognized by the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, it doesn't list the word "lyttony" but it can be seen being used (perhaps improperly) in a few areas in the 'Net. Is this word perhaps just a 1st Baron Lytton pun on "litany" or am I a bit off track here?

Congratulations to Jim Guigli, the 2006 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest winner!

And our lexidiem is lyttony.

Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest
Bulwer-Lytton
Jim Guigli
google
lexidiem
lyttony